Let’s Talk About College

It’s finally summer!! Am I allowed to cry tears of joy? It has been the longest year of my life and I have never wanted a school year to end more. With that being said, I figured I could write about my thoughts on the longest year of my life.

I feel like as I type this I am going to make it sound like college was so horrible and I never want to go back. This is not true. But, I am not going to lie and say it was the best year of my life. My freshman year of college consisted of me staying in my dorm, going to only class and the dining hall, and crying, lots and lots of crying. It was honestly a pretty boring year, until I met up with old classmates and joined Phi Lamb, then it got super busy!

Being alone.

College was a huge change for me. I spent my entire life in small towns and knew nothing more. It was because of this that I was having a hard time stepping out of my comfort zone. I was so used to my small friend group, my small town, my safe zone, that I didn’t know HOW to step out of my comfort zone. The main way that students at Texas State step out of their comfort zones is by going to parties but this just was not my thing so what else was there to do? I didn’t want to rush into joining any organizations during my first semester and I was super shy that I didn’t talk to people in my classes so I just stuck to the dining halls and my dorm.

Homesickness. 

Not stepping out of my comfort zone didn’t help my homesickness. The days leading up to move in I was fine. Move in day/night I was fine. The first few weeks I was fine. But as the days dragged on the more I began to miss home. So obviously when you miss home what better thing to do than to just… go home for the weekend. So I did. But this only made it worse because I hated leaving and it just made me more homesick which made me continue to go home on the weekends and it was just an endless cycle. I cried myself to sleep some nights and was just so ready for the semester to end. (This did get better second semester).

Unexpected Friendships. 

I lucked out and was able to become amazing friends with two boys that I happened to graduate with. We weren’t exactly friends in high school, we had different friend groups. But once we got to college we began to meet up and have dinner every so often, which turned into having dinner together almost every night. These two boys were my connection to home and although I was still a little homesick when we started to get close, they really helped me get through the longest year ever.

The campus. 

The dining halls were not terrible, definitely better than high school food. I managed to NOT gain the freshman 15 but how could you with all the stairs. THE STAIRS! They are literally everywhere and if there isn’t a set of stairs there is a hill. Honestly, college made me super lazy because it got to the point I would take the bus to avoid stairs and hills. The campus was also just breath taking, especially at night. It was honestly so beautiful I couldn’t handle it.

Classes. 

My class sizes ranged from 20 people to about 150-200 people. This was actually a good step coming from a small town. I didn’t feel super overwhelmed and was still able to make a connection with the professor. I actually spoke to one of my professors from the fall semester before I left for summer. The course load was very different from high school. I had some form of homework every week. My first semester I was able to get by with the study habits I had from high school but second semester was a whole different story. The biggest issue with going to a very small school is it wasn’t hard. The course load was nothing, even for Pre-AP and AP classes. With this being said, I had NO IDEA how to study which became a huge problem second semester.

The Dorm and Roommates. 

I lucked out and got two amazing roommates. We never fought. Generally kept to ourselves but not so much that we felt like strangers but enough to not get sick of each other. None of us partied so there were no drunken late nights. I actually enjoyed my dorm a lot. It wasn’t disgusting, I didn’t have community bathrooms so that was a plus, and it was just a nice space in general.

Sorority Life. 

My version of sorority life is a little different than others for the simple reason that Phi Lamb is a Non-panhellenic Christian sorority, and there is nothing wrong with that. This is when I finally decided to step out of my comfort zone. The process to get in was so simple, I went to a meeting, had an interview, got inducted, went to a retreat, got a big who is honestly the greatest and I don’t know what I would do without her, and bam I was in. There were then multiple social and service events throughout the semester that helped me earn points that would make me an active member at the end of the semester.  My new member class was seriously so amazing and I made so many amazing friends this semester that I just want to cry tears of joy because I am just so happy I decided to join.

Final Thoughts. 

Even though my first year wasn’t super exciting and memorable, that doesn’t mean the next however many years it takes me to graduate won’t be. All in all, once you are able to find your place in this crazy world, college isn’t half bad, if you don’t think about the classes and homework and long nights of studying. I mean, I am going back for round two in the fall so that must mean something.

xoxo,

Cheyanne

I Miss High School and I’m not Afraid to say so. 

Sure it wasn’t the absolute best 4 years of my life and I lost a lot of friends along the way but somehow I still miss it. I miss the normalcy of it, the familiarity, the closeness. I guess these are not things I would say if I had gone to a bigger school but it’s true.

I am just days away from finishing my first year of college and boy has it been the longest year of my life. Being away at college has been hard and I will admit, even though I come home often, I am still not over my homesickness. I still miss my mom and my dogs and call EVERYDAY. So I believe it is because of this homesickness that I miss high school.

Now I’m not saying that I had a terrible first year but it also wasn’t all that exciting. I am not the party type so I never went and as most know I am pretty shy so that made it hard to make friends. I discovered that I had a comfort zone within my small town life and I wasn’t ready to step out of that.

My first semester I only talked to my 2 roommates and 1 other person. It wasn’t until the end of that semester that I started hanging out with 2 guys from my graduating class that also attend Texas State, and boy am I thankful for them. I didn’t join any organizations, I didn’t go out, I went to class, to the dining hall, and to my dorm and that was it. I missed high school a lot because that’s where all my friendships were. I missed being so close to people and seeing them everyday. I would look at pictures up in my dorm and want to go back to those moments. I was just alone.

My second semester I decided to join a sorority and it honestly is the best decision I’ve made! I have met some amazing girls, including my big, and am forever thankful for that. I also spent a lot of my time with those 2 guys from high school. The best part about having them at college was they were like my little connection to home. We could talk about all the memories from high school and reminisce. But even then, I still missed high school. I missed the memories, the good times, and even some of the bad times. I missed who I was, I miss the friends I had.

Today as I checked out at the grocery store I asked the cashier if she was a junior or a senior and she said she was a junior. I then asked if she was excited for senior year and she proceeded to tell me “Yes but I am ready for it to be over.” My response? I told her “You say that now, but I’m about to finish my first year of college and I miss it.” It is no surprise that my senior year was a rough one, I lost many friends, my boyfriend of over 2 years, so I wanted to be done and gone more than anyone. So even after all of that, I STILL miss it.

So think what you want. Say it’s because I’m from a small town/school. Say I’m living in the past. But I am sure there are many college freshman thinking the same thing and honestly, it’s okay. It’s okay to miss it. You are allowed to miss home, and your friends, and your parents, and high school, it’s not a bad thing. College is a huge change, especially coming from a small school, and it just takes time. But yes, I miss high school and I’m not afraid to admit it.
XOXO,

Cheyanne 💜

Social Media is NOT the Problem.

Yes, social media has become a big part of our lives. We are constantly posting updates about our lives whether it be exciting events, stressful moments, posts about our family, school, and even new relationships. As a young adult whose has most social media accounts I get it. I also understanding that adults have strong negative opinions about social media and how much my generation depends on it. Something I see and hear a lot is how social media is ruining relationships and honestly, I disagree and this is why.

Reason 1: I was in a relationship for a little over 2 years, while in high school, during the time when social media was getting big. My relationship did NOT end due to social media. Throughout my relationship I used social media to post about my relationship, mainly about all the good times, and my boyfriend at the time did the same just not as much. I NEVER posted about our fights or disagreements. Towards the end of my relationship I did find myself comparing my relationship to others but that was because my relationship was already beginning to fail I just didn’t realize it yet. So I say again, social media did NOT ruin my relationship, at least on my end it didn’t, I cannot speak for my ex.

Reason 2: Its not social media, its the person. As I stated above, towards the end of my relationship I did catch myself comparing my relationship to those I saw on social media, but again my relationship did NOT end because of social media, but if that were the cause of my relationship ending then that is my fault. A relationship is about loving that person for who they are, you are with that person for a reason, they mean the world to you, so if you begin to doubt your relationship or compare it that is on YOU. You are the one damaging your relationship by wanting it to be something it is not.

 Reason 3: You only see one side of a relationship on social media. As I stated in reason 1 as well, I posted about my relationship a lot on social media but I never posted about our arguments. So as you are comparing your relationship to that of others remember, they aren’t perfect. They have their arguments, their disagreements, their moments where they aren’t each others MCM or WCW. So if you believe that they DON’T argue or have disagreements because of what they post on social media, again it is YOU ruining your relationship.

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that social media can make it easier for partners to cheat, lie, and go behind their partners back but this again is the PERSON, NOT social media. If a person goes behind their partners back to cheat using social media then they are not trustworthy, and that is a major key in a relationship, and that is their problem. Social media did not make that person untrustworthy, it may have been one factor in it but it is not the main cause. But remember, people cheated before there was social media.  Social media only affects relationships if you let it.

 

Note: This is just my opinion please no hate.

I Failed my Younger Self

Here I am writing a blog post while laying in my dorm room at 3 AM unable to sleep, hiding under the blanket so the light of my laptop doesn’t wake my roommate. I thought about this topic over Christmas break while scrolling through social media so I figured I would get my thoughts out.

 

My whole life cheerleading was the main thing. When I was younger and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I always said a cheerleader. I was always that girl who people knew as the cheerleader or the girl who could do flips. I looked up to the high school cheerleaders and eventually the level 5 athletes and even today I get giddy if I see college cheerleaders.

 

I always said I was going to cheer forever (well at least until my mid 20’s) and that I was going to coach (still a dream of mine). During my time cheering I managed to have 2 hand surgeries and still proceeded to be back on the mat, nothing could stop me.

 

Oct 2014 changed everything for me. This is the time when I got my first major cheer injury. I managed to tear my ACL, MCL, and meniscus (which I later found out in my Athletic Training class last semester this injury is called the Unhappy Triad.). This type of injury takes an athlete out for the season but in many cases the athlete only tears one thing, mainly the ACL, and can have a speedy recovery. My recovery? By May of 2015, about 6 months later, my doctor told me I wasn’t fully healed and needed more therapy. Now this is where I failed my younger self.

 

After she told me I needed to continue with physical therapy I just gave up. I thought to myself “If I’m never going to cheer again then what is the point?” and that was that. Although at the time I believed this was a sign from God telling me it was my time to stop cheering and lead me down another path, but looking back I can’t help but get upset with myself. I know and have seen people who have pushed so hard and cheered again and again and tear their knees up multiple times because they were so dedicated to the sport. But me? I just gave up. I let my younger self down. I didn’t finish. I guess I wasn’t as dedicated to the sport that I grew up with as I thought.

 

I know what you are thinking. Just get up and go get stronger and better and get back on the mat. Well I can’t because there is still some part of me that believes this was a sign and that if God wanted me back on the mat he would have pushed me then to get stronger and better.

 

Cheyanne

My Experience With a Knee Injury

It’s been 2 years but I still remember it like it was yesterday. I remember the sound of the pop and the scream I let out after the second pop. I remember my coaches telling me I could have strained it, even though I am sure they knew what really happened. I remember the ER visit and the doctor saying he thinks its most likely my ACL and maybe my meniscus but we wouldn’t know for sure until I got an MRI. I remember the feeling of my heart breaking on my 17th birthday when I received my results and the phone call I made to my coach telling her I was done. It’s all so vivid.

On November 12th, 2014 I had surgery on my knee to repair my ACL, MCL, and Meniscus. After waking up from surgery I don’t remember a whole lot because I was heavily medicated but what I do remember is this. I remember the multiple times I had to get out of bed to either pee, walk, or shower and the amount of indescribable pain I felt rush through my leg. I remember going in and out of sleep, barely able to finish a conversation let alone a text message. I remember taking a shower and crying the whole time while the nurse washed my hair. Then finally, I went home.

I ended up staying in the hospital for 2-3 days longer than I should have. Finally being home in my own bed was nice. We had to set up the machine that kept my knee moving and the ice bucket machine and I had to sleep in both of those. For someone who does not sleep on their back this was a huge struggle. I would wake up multiple times to either take more medicine or needing more ice in my bucket. When I finally went back to school things weren’t too bad. I had to be in a wheelchair because the doctor wanted me to keep my leg elevated. This is where things get hard.

I just had the one thing that meant the world to me taken away in an instant. The one thing that made me who I am, what I am all about. So needless to say it was hard to adjust. My daily routine consisted of waking up, going to school in the wheelchair, and then going home. I did nothing else. I was lucky enough to be able to attend my, at the time, boyfriends play-off game but other than that, that was it. About 2 weeks after my surgery I lost my beloved dog. Now if the injury and surgery weren’t enough, losing my best friend made things so so much worse. I then started physical therapy which was utterly pointless because it was so soon after surgery that there really wasn’t much to do. At this point I lost a lot of hope and I was so down and in such a depression.

My first post-op doctors visit she told me I wasn’t improving. This was partly due to my physical therapist who sucked at her job and so she sent me to a new one. My new PT knew how bad I wanted to walk again and cheer. Ah walking, that was a new one. This injury/surgery takes a lot from you. I literally had to re-teach the muscles in my leg how to walk and lift my leg again. It was probably the hardest thing I had to do. 6 months go by after a lot of PT and my doctor still told me I wasn’t ready. She told me my ACL was still loose and that I needed more PT but… I didn’t go back. By this time I had accepted the fact that I was never going to cheer again so what was the point of going back to PT if I wasn’t going to cheer?

It’s been 2 years since my injury and I still remember every detail. Days go by and some things are still harder than others but I do go to a college that has stairs and hills that keep my knee in some shape. All that matters is that I made it through. I made it through one of the toughest surgeries/events in my life and because of this injury I am now going to school to study Physical Therapy.

Why am I Here? 

In this post I just want to talk about what I am planning on doing with this blog. Long story short, I cheered for 13 years and then injured my knee and have not been able to “find myself” or discover a new hobby. I sorta want to start a YouTube channel of daily vlogs but I decided to start small and do blogs for now and see how that goes. I’m not a beauty guru, I am not big into make-up, and I don’t follow fashion trends. I am just here to talk about life, random topics, and share my experience at college with you! I want to try to post at least once a week and go from there! I am also not a writer. I have never been a fan of English so don’t expect something fancy or MLA format! As I get followers or some sort of crowd I would love to hear from y’all about what to write and talk about but for now I’m just going to write, talk about my day, my classes, life in general so I hope you stick around!
xoxo,

Chey❤️