Let’s Talk About College

It’s finally summer!! Am I allowed to cry tears of joy? It has been the longest year of my life and I have never wanted a school year to end more. With that being said, I figured I could write about my thoughts on the longest year of my life.

I feel like as I type this I am going to make it sound like college was so horrible and I never want to go back. This is not true. But, I am not going to lie and say it was the best year of my life. My freshman year of college consisted of me staying in my dorm, going to only class and the dining hall, and crying, lots and lots of crying. It was honestly a pretty boring year, until I met up with old classmates and joined Phi Lamb, then it got super busy!

Being alone.

College was a huge change for me. I spent my entire life in small towns and knew nothing more. It was because of this that I was having a hard time stepping out of my comfort zone. I was so used to my small friend group, my small town, my safe zone, that I didn’t know HOW to step out of my comfort zone. The main way that students at Texas State step out of their comfort zones is by going to parties but this just was not my thing so what else was there to do? I didn’t want to rush into joining any organizations during my first semester and I was super shy that I didn’t talk to people in my classes so I just stuck to the dining halls and my dorm.

Homesickness. 

Not stepping out of my comfort zone didn’t help my homesickness. The days leading up to move in I was fine. Move in day/night I was fine. The first few weeks I was fine. But as the days dragged on the more I began to miss home. So obviously when you miss home what better thing to do than to just… go home for the weekend. So I did. But this only made it worse because I hated leaving and it just made me more homesick which made me continue to go home on the weekends and it was just an endless cycle. I cried myself to sleep some nights and was just so ready for the semester to end. (This did get better second semester).

Unexpected Friendships. 

I lucked out and was able to become amazing friends with two boys that I happened to graduate with. We weren’t exactly friends in high school, we had different friend groups. But once we got to college we began to meet up and have dinner every so often, which turned into having dinner together almost every night. These two boys were my connection to home and although I was still a little homesick when we started to get close, they really helped me get through the longest year ever.

The campus. 

The dining halls were not terrible, definitely better than high school food. I managed to NOT gain the freshman 15 but how could you with all the stairs. THE STAIRS! They are literally everywhere and if there isn’t a set of stairs there is a hill. Honestly, college made me super lazy because it got to the point I would take the bus to avoid stairs and hills. The campus was also just breath taking, especially at night. It was honestly so beautiful I couldn’t handle it.

Classes. 

My class sizes ranged from 20 people to about 150-200 people. This was actually a good step coming from a small town. I didn’t feel super overwhelmed and was still able to make a connection with the professor. I actually spoke to one of my professors from the fall semester before I left for summer. The course load was very different from high school. I had some form of homework every week. My first semester I was able to get by with the study habits I had from high school but second semester was a whole different story. The biggest issue with going to a very small school is it wasn’t hard. The course load was nothing, even for Pre-AP and AP classes. With this being said, I had NO IDEA how to study which became a huge problem second semester.

The Dorm and Roommates. 

I lucked out and got two amazing roommates. We never fought. Generally kept to ourselves but not so much that we felt like strangers but enough to not get sick of each other. None of us partied so there were no drunken late nights. I actually enjoyed my dorm a lot. It wasn’t disgusting, I didn’t have community bathrooms so that was a plus, and it was just a nice space in general.

Sorority Life. 

My version of sorority life is a little different than others for the simple reason that Phi Lamb is a Non-panhellenic Christian sorority, and there is nothing wrong with that. This is when I finally decided to step out of my comfort zone. The process to get in was so simple, I went to a meeting, had an interview, got inducted, went to a retreat, got a big who is honestly the greatest and I don’t know what I would do without her, and bam I was in. There were then multiple social and service events throughout the semester that helped me earn points that would make me an active member at the end of the semester.  My new member class was seriously so amazing and I made so many amazing friends this semester that I just want to cry tears of joy because I am just so happy I decided to join.

Final Thoughts. 

Even though my first year wasn’t super exciting and memorable, that doesn’t mean the next however many years it takes me to graduate won’t be. All in all, once you are able to find your place in this crazy world, college isn’t half bad, if you don’t think about the classes and homework and long nights of studying. I mean, I am going back for round two in the fall so that must mean something.

xoxo,

Cheyanne

I Miss High School and I’m not Afraid to say so. 

Sure it wasn’t the absolute best 4 years of my life and I lost a lot of friends along the way but somehow I still miss it. I miss the normalcy of it, the familiarity, the closeness. I guess these are not things I would say if I had gone to a bigger school but it’s true.

I am just days away from finishing my first year of college and boy has it been the longest year of my life. Being away at college has been hard and I will admit, even though I come home often, I am still not over my homesickness. I still miss my mom and my dogs and call EVERYDAY. So I believe it is because of this homesickness that I miss high school.

Now I’m not saying that I had a terrible first year but it also wasn’t all that exciting. I am not the party type so I never went and as most know I am pretty shy so that made it hard to make friends. I discovered that I had a comfort zone within my small town life and I wasn’t ready to step out of that.

My first semester I only talked to my 2 roommates and 1 other person. It wasn’t until the end of that semester that I started hanging out with 2 guys from my graduating class that also attend Texas State, and boy am I thankful for them. I didn’t join any organizations, I didn’t go out, I went to class, to the dining hall, and to my dorm and that was it. I missed high school a lot because that’s where all my friendships were. I missed being so close to people and seeing them everyday. I would look at pictures up in my dorm and want to go back to those moments. I was just alone.

My second semester I decided to join a sorority and it honestly is the best decision I’ve made! I have met some amazing girls, including my big, and am forever thankful for that. I also spent a lot of my time with those 2 guys from high school. The best part about having them at college was they were like my little connection to home. We could talk about all the memories from high school and reminisce. But even then, I still missed high school. I missed the memories, the good times, and even some of the bad times. I missed who I was, I miss the friends I had.

Today as I checked out at the grocery store I asked the cashier if she was a junior or a senior and she said she was a junior. I then asked if she was excited for senior year and she proceeded to tell me “Yes but I am ready for it to be over.” My response? I told her “You say that now, but I’m about to finish my first year of college and I miss it.” It is no surprise that my senior year was a rough one, I lost many friends, my boyfriend of over 2 years, so I wanted to be done and gone more than anyone. So even after all of that, I STILL miss it.

So think what you want. Say it’s because I’m from a small town/school. Say I’m living in the past. But I am sure there are many college freshman thinking the same thing and honestly, it’s okay. It’s okay to miss it. You are allowed to miss home, and your friends, and your parents, and high school, it’s not a bad thing. College is a huge change, especially coming from a small school, and it just takes time. But yes, I miss high school and I’m not afraid to admit it.
XOXO,

Cheyanne 💜